Got into an argument with a friend over brake-checking

"daender" (daender) 08/17/2018 at 22:35 • Filed to: None

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I don’t care if you’re being tail gated and t hey’re flashing LED high-beams at you. Brake-checking them isn’t going to improve the situation. If anything, it’ll probably cause them to escalate their road rage. In this day and age who knows how short tempers are to pulling out a gun and getting shot or rammed off the road.

... He refuses to listen and I’m worried it’ll get him injured or killed. I care for my friends, even the ones I butt heads with, because I don’t want them to repeat mistakes that others have paid in the past. I don’t have a lot of skin in this game as I haven’t lost anyone to road rage and, luckily, all my other friends don’t drive like him. Still, as a volunteer Street Survival instructor, Jalop/Oppo and general human being  I will never recommend messing with other drivers just because they might drive like assholes.

Honeybunchesofgoats > daender 08/17/2018 at 22:40

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He’s a dipshit. I say this as someone who has figured out that the way to road rage is to call the other guy a “cunt” and watch them rage. If I didn’t have a self-destructive streak, I would never pull that shit. 

daender > Honeybunchesofgoats 08/17/2018 at 22:43

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It sucks because he’s a nice guy 99% of the time but I swear his driving behavior and him foolishly thinking “their insurance will pay for it because they caused it ” is going to bite him hard in the ass. He doesn’t understand that people are driving around without insurance or that people aren’t beside letting emotions and violence get the better of them.

E90M3 > daender 08/17/2018 at 22:44

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I like to slow down to the speed limit. If we’re on a twisty road, I like to take the corners a double the speed limit. 

Dr. Zoidberg - RIP Oppo > daender 08/17/2018 at 22:45

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I hear where you are coming from, but telling... suggesting, even... how someone should drive  is a sure-fire way to be met with resistence.

Signed, a married guy.

daender > E90M3 08/17/2018 at 22:46

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He tends to go slow down so that he’s 5-mph below the limit. I will leave tailgaters in the dust in corners...if I’m not in midlands SC because it’s all straight lines and gentle curves.

I like cars: Jim Spanfeller is one ugly motherfucker > daender 08/17/2018 at 22:48

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He’s an idiot. I just do windshield wash fluid attacks.

daender > Dr. Zoidberg - RIP Oppo 08/17/2018 at 22:48

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Yeah, I guess I should know better because my father refuses my legitimate suggestions and concerns . He drives 10-under the limit or is speeding and tail gating people too.

E90M3 > daender 08/17/2018 at 22:49

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Regardless , I like to push my cars when I’ve got a dick on my tail. Onramp at 30+? Yup. 

Urambo Tauro > daender 08/17/2018 at 22:50

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T e l l h i m t o g e t a d a s h c a m . O n e t h a t i ncludes a rear-facing camera. And t h e n t e l l h i m to never let either camera catch him brake-checking anybody.

wafflesnfalafel > E90M3 08/17/2018 at 22:51

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hee hee... I may have lead a few tailgaters in to corners at roughly double posted on occasion... But honestly, I just let people pass 99% of the time now . I don’t enjoy having to drive for both of us if somebody behind me is clearly incompetent or worse... Brake checking is the immature action of unthinking, self centered, uneducated individuals.

Honeybunchesofgoats > daender 08/17/2018 at 22:51

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I once brake checked a guy on a curve  in the rain in a Jag. It was genuinely a wake up call that I needed to chill the fuck out. 

daender > Urambo Tauro 08/17/2018 at 22:53

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Yup, I told him to get a dash-cam. Unfortunately he probably won’t, especially since I got on his nerves.

bob and john > daender 08/17/2018 at 22:53

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I’ll flash the lights, but I wont brake check.

my bike currently has one of those flasher relays in it that flashes the brake light 3 times when I first touch them

Dr. Zoidberg - RIP Oppo > daender 08/17/2018 at 22:55

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Maybe you have better luck than me... But friendships can be surpisingly fragile... I’ve lost three good friendships over the last couple of years, all stemming from single unpleasant exchanges. I guess that actually shows that being friends with me is precarious.

MM54 > I like cars: Jim Spanfeller is one ugly motherfucker 08/17/2018 at 22:57

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This is clever . My response to tailgaters is, well, I don’t respond. Might have to try this if they persist. Sitting still, the washers in the crown vic will get the rear window wet so at speed it should be a good washing for them.

daender > bob and john 08/17/2018 at 22:57

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Flash the headlights or the brake lights? I still feel like flashing the rear brake lights without slowing down to either a: obey the decreasing speed limit or b: make a turn off to the road could instigate or escalate road rage. I’ve tapped the brakes just enough to turn on the brake lights and t hen watched the tailgater suddenly weave and nearly lo se control because they over reacted. I told myself never to do that again.

Urambo Tauro > daender 08/17/2018 at 22:59

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T h a t ’ s t o o b a d . S o m e f o l k s i n s i s t o n l e a r n i n g t h i n g s f o r t h e m s e l v e s .

I like cars: Jim Spanfeller is one ugly motherfucker > MM54 08/17/2018 at 23:03

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My brother had a Golf but the rear wiper was missing the bit that directed thr fluid onto the glass, so it would just shoot backwards. It was useful. 

bob and john > daender 08/17/2018 at 23:04

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brakes.

facw > daender 08/17/2018 at 23:06

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Ugh, I’m trying to figure out how to deal with this with my dad. He drives exactly the speed limit, which is a bit conservative, but is fine I suppose. And he likes to hang out in the middle lane so he doesn’t have to deal with merging traffic, which isn’t great, but is also the state sport of MA, so at least he’s not alone. The real problem is that he’s got this idea that people put on their turn signal and think it gives them the right to merge in no matter what, so he is a hyper aggressive tailgater (to block anyone from thinking they have room to get in front of him), and in cases where there is room, he’s that guy who speeds up to close the gap when he sees someone turn on their turn signal. And of course he also complains about other people not letting him in. No idea how to raise the issue with him without being excessively confrontational.   

Jordan and the Slowrunner, Boomer Intensifies > daender 08/17/2018 at 23:09

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The answer: Gunshot noises out of the exhaust

TheRealBicycleBuck > daender 08/17/2018 at 23:12

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I’d start sending him DashCam videos of brake checks gone wrong. 

gmporschenut also a fan of hondas > daender 08/17/2018 at 23:16

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get a more powerful car?

I just hold a steady speed. 

RiceRocketeer Extraordinaire > I like cars: Jim Spanfeller is one ugly motherfucker 08/17/2018 at 23:17

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My old RSX had a rear windshield washer nozzle on the roof that was easy to aim straight backward. I miss that old heap. So many dumb hijinks.

LOREM IPSUM > daender 08/17/2018 at 23:33

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The argument ultimately didn’t help matters, unfortunately. Once it gets to that point, it’s ears shut and mouth wide open.

Realistically it’s all about presenting your argument in a way that focuses less on how they’ve got everything wrong. Next time try to focus   more on explaining the how’s and why’s of why your position is your preferred one, then gently refer back to their way in comparison and lead them so they can clearly see the big difference for themselves. They won’t accept it if it’s your decision and you’re trying to make theirs for them too , but if they understand why you feel the way you do sometimes they can say “ya know, he’s got some good points” and come to the same decision on their own.

Ymmv.

Highlander-Datsuns are Forever > E90M3 08/18/2018 at 00:19

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I do this on my county road all the time. I refuse to go over 35 but still maintain 35 around the two 15 mph corners. Chuckle fucks don’t like this one simple hack.

Highlander-Datsuns are Forever > daender 08/18/2018 at 00:20

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Dudes gone get shot  at or rammed pretty soon.

The Dummy Gummy > daender 08/18/2018 at 00:27

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I’m of the mind set that if they don’t slow down, my day is going to get shitty really quick.... to the point where I could die. Fuckkkkk that. Brake checking is level of idiotic I can’t comprehend.

smobgirl > facw 08/18/2018 at 01:20

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I’m sorry. I rolled my eyes so much they’re stuck.

So when, pray tell , might anyone be allowed to change lanes in his book? 

facw > smobgirl 08/18/2018 at 01:31

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Obviously only when they are behind him...

It’s a bit of a mess, and honestly I’m a bit concerned that he seems to be showing less empathy everywhere, not just driving, and I’m not sure how to re- nurture that.

Just Jeepin' > daender 08/18/2018 at 01:38

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My response to a tailgater is to gradually slow down or tap my brakes (not both).

Don’t know whether that makes me an idiot, but I refuse to put up with it. If they don’t get off my ass then there’s a decent chance I’m going to end up in an accident anyway.

smobgirl > facw 08/18/2018 at 01:42

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Eek. That sounds like maybe a medical checkup isn’t a bad idea. My dad is becoming less interested in hiding his asshole tendencies but he’s always been an asshole inside - this sounds like more of a personality change, which can be an indicator of other issues.

duurtlang > daender 08/18/2018 at 03:37

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Assuming he’s in the wrong and I’m not (if I can move over I will) and he’s thus tailgating for no reason I just let go of the gas. Without touching the brakes. After a number of seconds I return to overtaking like I was before.

If they tailgate when I'm in the right lane I might use my window washers.

Quadradeuce > daender 08/18/2018 at 10:12

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My response to tailgaters? Let them pass me ASAP. Besides the road rage the  issue, I'm always happy to see someone driving faster than me. If we pass a speed check, that guy will get pulled over, not me.

daender > smobgirl 08/18/2018 at 22:27

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It must be a getting old thing.  My pops is the same way.